Life Lessons: Shrimp Boat Surprise

So I've been a bad blog writer and haven't updated in about a week. I could have been productive yesterday, when I was sitting around, reading A Million Little Pieces, watching Sex and the City and basically not doing SHIT, but I didn't. Whatevs. I still don't know what the hell to write about and haven't even begun writing the second part to Teen Kitty, so I decided to share with you a very funny passage from Tim Dorsey's Nuclear Jellyfish. In its own twisted way, it's very true:

"When my collected travel knowledge is finally published as a best-selling book, I've decided to simultaneously release a special children's edition. It's almost completely finished. I've only got the first page, but that's the hardest part. It's called Shrimp Boat Surprise. Coleman asked what the title means, and I said life is like traveling on one big, happy shrimp boat. He asked what the surprise was, and I said you grow up and learn that life bones you up the ass ten ways to Tuesday."

There's your life lesson for today, kids. Do you feel more enlightened?